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March 6, 2010
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Insomnia or Thoughts In The Late-Night-Early-Morning

I lay still awake
Late night early morning thoughts
Running through my head


What happens in the late night early morning dark is this. One stupid song lets out one stupid memory which lets out one whole year of grief which refuses to go back into the little box in the back of my head that I forced it into last year. In one fell swoop it all comes back and then the tears won't stop. My mind grabs at anything in its attempt to put all the tears back in the box in the back of my head where they belong. As it does, my hand reaches for the worn old bear who sits in the corner of the bed, waiting there for just such an occasion. And with the bear clutched to my chest, my mind fights for control of my emotions. It grabs the pen and pad from the floor, the mobile phone for light and sets to work. The light is poor, the eyes are tired, but the tears have stopped.

And the pen is running out.

01:46am 6/3/10
I feel a small explanation is in order. For me to get to sleep I have to listen to music. For some reason the song "Private Emotion" by Ricky Martin decided last night to trigger the most random memory of my gran. In the rather likely event that you don't know, my gran died of cancer on March 10th last year and I've been dreading how I'm going to feel on the anniversary. As it is, I think most of what would have happened actually happened last night and since it's very hard to sleep when you're having what I can only describe as a minor breakdown, I started writing. Please keep this in mind if you're kind enough to comment.

If you liked this piece (and even if you didn't) why not check out this wonderful poem by ~child-of-exiles:
Sleep has not caught me yet,  And the dawn is fast approaching.  From the kitchen I hear the coffee pot start,  Wheezing like an old man on a frozen morning.  I slide the quilt down an inch,  
So that only my eyes peek over the top  And stare out the window at the stars  Wondering if you are watching them too;  Wondering if you are wondering if I am watching them.  A billion photos scatter over the sky  Using the stars as tacks, meteors as strings.  I wonder if you read the stars,  
If you would remember me  And smile.

(Part of the #dALinkSystem)
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:iconiatsath:
IATSATH May 4, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: Thank you so much.
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:iconmatthew-phoenix:
matthew-phoenix Mar 25, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for sharing this story with us. :hug:
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:iconbtdubbs:
BTDubbs Mar 23, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
:reading:

Thank you for living.
And thank you for sharing.
Thank you for feeling the way that you felt.

Thank you for fighting.
And thank you for rising.
Thank you for riding the waves of the world.

Thank you for trying.
And thank you for crying.
Thank you for writing as ever you do.

Thank you for you.
:hug:
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:iconiatsath:
IATSATH Mar 24, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
:) Thank you so very, very much :hug:
Reply
:iconbtdubbs:
BTDubbs Mar 26, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
:)
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
:tighthug:


Thank you so much for sharing this piece with our group, #dALinkSystem! :thanks:
Reply
:iconiatsath:
IATSATH Mar 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
:) My pleasure.
Reply
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